Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Intros and Conclusions


Using the topics in exercise 3 on page 12 in your text, write two different introductory paragraphs, each one featuring a different method (Definition, Quotation, Personal Narrative, Question, Staccato, Hypothetical Scenario, Historical Background). 

Remember, your introductory paragraphs should also contain a thesis statement.

When you are finished with your introductions, select two different types of conclusions and draft paragraphs for them as well. Publish your work online when you are done.

Paragraphs should be 4-6 sentence long. Feel free to use the internet for research. For additional examples, please see chapter 1 in your textbook. 

44 comments:

  1. Gerard Soriano
    Basic English 2
    Prof . Ferrante
    Feb8,2012


    Hello, my name is Gerard Soriano people call me Gerald. My nationality is Puerto Rican and Dominican. My hometown is new york that’s where I was born. I currently attend Hudson community college my first semester here. Yes theres some good and bads about this school but guess what I don’t care Im just trying to get an education. Yes , I do have a job I work in downtown union city in 8th street kennedy in a dealership called A&E Auto Group. Something else about me is that im trying to follow my fathers footstep I want major in the medical situations. I actually want to become a doctor in the future that is something I could see myself doing.

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    Replies
    1. Gerald, I'm glad you cauught up after being absent. Please paste this into the appropriate post entitled "Introductions" and then delete this.

      Delete
  2. Athletes are to big-headed when it comes to salary bonuses. If you can run fast, if you can lift a lot of weight, if you inspire those around you and have leadership ability, you are probably an athlete. It takes a lot of time and dedication to become what you are today. With that said, athletes today get paid millions for what they do. But are they really worth millions? That is the question that a lot of people have, and the answer is no. I don’t believe athletes should be paid millions of dollars. One reason is athletes are born every day and to a million dollar price tag and something as common as chicken is not fair. Athletes think just because no one else steps up to the plate that they deserve to have a raise. Well first of all, without a fan base your ego would be the size of raisin.
    In conclusion, athletes should work harder on raising standards then raising salaries. They have such a huge fan base that they should teach others and are around others and let them know how they got there. It's no secret that athletes work hard for their money. But also should give back and let people know about the steps they took to reach their goal. Athletes and managers alike should work on helping others to help themselves.

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  3. Somebody's culture and back round effect ones decision and future. Has a lot to do with energy and conversation within the household or family. For example, tradition and habit might affect someone's thought and emotion in choosing a career. Circumstance or a event affect the future of a possible professional.
    In conclusion, you are what are you are because of your surroundings. You are because of the decisions you make and you will be what you want to be. Your back round, culture, and future lifestyle affect your present, so I agree with my thesis. You get what you need to move on into the possible future.

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    Replies
    1. This one needs more work. It seems like you're stringing together cliches around a topic. Also, be sure you are checking for grammar before posting. There are lots of fragments.

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  4. “Friendship is just one word, but friends are of different kinds”. (Hook intro)
    What is a friend really? What does a so called “friend” mean to you? Any and everyone have different personalities and different perspectives on what a friend really is and how to differentiate a best friend or just an acquaintance. To me, calling someone a good friend has some importance .It is important to consider what a friend really is before giving someone that label. Learning from past experiences, there are many ways in finding the real meaning of the word “friendship” it’s all a matter of one’s own opinion, what having friend’s really mean, and finding the difference between friend’s and just acquaintances.

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    Replies
    1. Good work on both your intro and conclusion. There is some awkwardness with wording in the conclusion to be aware of, however.

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  5. “Friendship is just one word, but friends are of different kinds”. (Conclusion)

    Considering what a true friend really is, it all comes down to your personal perspectives and experiences. Knowing the meaning of friendship, and understanding who you can call a friend, will really help you distinguish the true meaning of friendship. From what I’ve learned and experienced, friends come and go and come in many different varieties. But I will always remember that small amount of people you so call “friends” are very rare to find.

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  6. Introductory Paragraph # 1 (Question)
    Is the family structure changing in this era we live in? In the past and accepted as the norm, the family; consist of a man and woman usually same background marrying to have a family. Today that has a changed somewhat. We now have a variety spectrum of the family which consists of single parent, grandparent rearing the child, multicultural, lesbian and gay, foster, remarried parents all create this complex family tree which is slowly becoming a norm in society. These all represent how family comes in different shapes and sizes. Due to prejudice; these new family structures will take some time to be predominantly accepted.

    Conclusion Paragraph # 1 (Raising Question for Exploration or Speculation)
    The family is changing; but will take some time to become a norm in society. There are biases toward single; especially men, adoptive, gay or lesbian parents to be considered the norm in upbringing a family. Is love enough in these groups to nurture a child and be healthy family? I believe in the long run love can break any frontier. Although I don’t personally judge anyone; is it morally correct?

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    Replies
    1. Your first intro could use to be streamlined. Don't feel compelled to jam lots of ideas into your intro.

      Your second intro is more on target. Stay focused on the idea you're developing without introducing too many ideas in the way of questions and answers.

      Delete
  7. Introductory Paragraph # 2 (Definition)
    Sexual harassment; an unwelcomed advance is more prevalent in women than man. Statistically one in four women harassed as apposed one in nine men. The male ego of certain men tries to control women at the work place; due to more women in the work force competing with men; by flexing their power and sexually harassing the female counterpart. Many women don’t say anything because they can’t afford to lose their job. There are many single mothers running the ship. Especially new interns not knowing any better since new at the work place; let it slide trying to move up the ladder to obtain a permanent job. This is mainly why women don’t report the harassment which often goes unreported.
    Conclusion Paragraph # 2 (Personal Opinion)
    Women sexually harassed at the work place should report it immediately. There is no place for that in the work place where a mother, sister, woman is trying to make a living. There should be strict consequences when these acts are committed. The men should be fired period. I believe; men trying this act and knowing they will lose their job will think twice before doing such a coward act. Like the saying goes; “eye for eye and a tooth for a tooth.”

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    Replies
    1. Good start on your into, but I feel like you may be over-reaching in giving too much info in your introduction that would be better off in the body of an essay (hypothetically) than in an introduction. Keep the intro simple and don't attempt to give all the details on whole subject in that paragraph-- only those needed to have context for the rest of the essay (for definition)

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  8. Introduction to "Friendship" quote:
    In my entire life, I can’t even relate the amount of friends I in courted with. My mom always told me “pick my friend wisely, or leave them has Acquaintances”. They are different kind of friends of course, there’s the one who influences you in a good way or influence you in a wrong way. In my teen years, I only in countered with hoodlums. Hanging out with the wrong crowd only leads you to wrong things.

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    Replies
    1. Some of these ideas feel loosely connected by topic but ideas don't flow into one another. Each sentence should be one step in the development of ideas.

      Delete
  9. Conclusion to "Friendship" quote:
    After all my experiences with friends of different kinds, I ended up with no friends, and a lot of Acquaintances. To me, friends are those who no matter what have your back in good terms or bad terms. The only friends I know that are going to be there and help you out when you have fallen are your own family members. Don’t get me wrong, there’s friends that will kill for one-another but those are very hard to find these days. So no matter what people say to you to make you choose the right friends in life, it is really just up to the person to decide.

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    Replies
    1. There are too many points in one short paragraph-- there are 3 by my count. The idea of true friendship, the idea that the only true friends are family and the idea that one should decide for oneself-- yet, none of them are fully developed.

      Delete
  10. To some people their careers are influenced by their background because of the families they have. Some fathers choose their child’s career way before their actual child is born. That child may not want to follow in his father’s footsteps, but they may not have a choice. For example back in the 1900’s any job your father fulfilled would be passed down to you to fulfill it. Now a days things aren’t much different, there still fathers or mothers who want their child to be what they think its best, and they don’t let anything or anyone to tell them otherwise.

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  11. I agree that people’s careers are greatly influenced by their background. Should it be like this? No, everyone should determine their own future on their own. Your parents may have done what they wanted with their life and they will always want the best for you. But what they think is best may not be. It is sad to say that some parents try to live their dreams through the child’s life, but it may be a lot of people’s reality.

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  12. What ever happened to just playing the game and not worrying how much you make? I don’t understand why sports stars are so obsessed with dollar signs. What ever happened for the love of the game? Superstars now only care about the big dollar signs not about winning anymore. So many great athletes out there and if they don’t get their money they won’t play to their full potential. Look at Desean Jackson from the Philadelphia eagles. Two seasons ago he played fantastic under he’s rookie contract. Then during the offseason he wanted to get paid and the Eagles did not pay him and he played terrible this season cause all he cared about was getting his money. He started drama in the locker room and with his coaching staff all because he didn’t get paid his money. Superstars shouldn’t care about how much money they make, they should only care about winning.


    Superstars would rather get paid then play in a city where they’re treated as a king. Albert Pujols left the city of St. Louis for over 200 million to go to a team that hasn’t won a World Series in 10 years. He just won the World Series with the Cardinals but that didn’t matter to him. All he wants is his money and I personally think that is so terrible. The city of St. Louis praised Pujols and he left them like nothing. He just didn’t turn on the city of St. Louis, he turned on all his teammates. To leave a team after you win a World Series, is a smack in the face. It’s like he is telling his teammates he didn’t need them to win that he just did it by himself. A teammate of his actually told him after they won the World Series that he has to come back so they can do it all again next year but no, Pujols let the money do his talking and now he is an Angel.

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  13. The dictionary says a family is a group of people who live under one roof. This is true but families exist among other groups of people too. I am lucky enough to have two families. First, I have the family that I live with and then I would say my second family is the youth group I belong to. I never had any brothers or sisters, so the youth group for me is the brothers and sisters I never had. Even though we are not related or live under the same roof I see them as family. My youth group is an example that families are not only built one way but they can come in all different forms.
    Most people have more than one family and don’t even realize it. Other families are found in sports teams, jobs, and at school. In a sports team, you are a family because you all work together. You also make sure that everyone is working hard and to their full potential. If you fight with your team mates you always make up because you guys are a team and are there for one another. Just like in your family. When you fight with your parents or brothers and sisters you make up eventually because you love them.

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  14. “Much of the vitality in a friendship lies in the honoring of differences, not simply in the enjoyment of similarities” – Anonymous. We may be able to consider how many of our friends are diverse from one another. Friendship is just one word that carries out a lot of meaning, such as trust, love and even family. There are those friends who are there in the most difficult times and there are those friends who we meet with occasionally, as example school. Having different kinds of friends doesn’t necessarily mean they all have different personalities; it can also mean the kind of relationship we have with them.

    So how many different kind of friends do we have? Considering all the different sorts of people we encounter on a daily basis it is important to understand the kind of relationship we have with each person and how many of those people can we truly rely on and call friends. Personally I can tell you that my definition of a friend and what a friendship is based on is extremely important to me. In considering someone your friend I would probably think you have a distinct understanding of who that person is, because a lot about them can tell me a lot about yourself as well.

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  15. How many times throughout your high school and college career have you thought twice about what your career choice will be? There are only a few people we will encounter that will tell us exactly what it is that they really want to do with their lives and are positive about their decision. So many things are tied into making a decision that will either make your life or not, there are things to consider such as how many years in school, salary, job description and approval from certain people, but most importantly is considering your enjoyment. There are also other factors that influence your decision on a career, those that include your ethnic background as well as culture, those can be tricky.

    Over all, I think that choosing a career path that is right for you is something that needs to be wisely chosen by who we are. Deciding on our future shouldn’t depend on choices that we have to make to follow certain traditions or culture; it should only be about choosing what we believe is the right thing for us, something that will make us happy and keep us motivated to achieving our goals. In order to not end up with wasted time in our hands, I think is wise to consider what one strong and wise man said “your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life, don’t be trapped by dogma- which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most importantly, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” –Steve Jobs.

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  16. The Spirit of sports has been corrupted by money (intro)&(conclusion)
    The actual definition of the word “sports”, is an athletic activity requiring skill or physical prowess and often of a competitive nature. The definition say’s it all. Why can’t athletes play the sport that they worked for all their lives just for the love of the game? Lately athletes will stop playing for the simple fact that there underpaid. I understand that you need money to live well, but if that means not playing the game you love it’s just wrong. Playing the sport just for the money is more of a reason not to play that sport, your better off sitting in front of a desk working hard for your money.
    I hope athletes can now grasp the true meaning of playing the sport that they love the most. Money isn’t everything, I guess through the years you can really learn that with money and power comes selfishness. I guess when you think about making money you should not only think about working hard, but you should love the job you have even if it means earning less pay.

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  17. Career choices are greatly influenced by a person’s background. (Hook intro)
    Should a person choose a career just to have one? Or should they choose a career that can be beneficial? I believe that choosing the right career has a great impact on your future. Career choices are mainly based on your background as a person. People often mistake the difference between an eight hour jobs to a career, which are two different things. You should be able to make your choice by knowing what you’re passionate about. Striving for something that you have been interested in since childhood would be an amazing career choice.

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  18. Pokemon is a multi media franchise created by Game Freak and owned by Nintendo.
    It is one of the most recognized game franchises in the modern world. They consist of video games and trading cards based on powerful elemental creatures; who battle one another in fictional land. Iconic Pokemon like Pikachu are often seen during the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade. Pokemon were officially created in 1996 and to this day many often play the video games or collect the toys or cards. There are approximately 649 Pokemon as of today.

    I personally love Pokemon, but not the Pokemon of today. They make no sense to me. An ice cream Pokemon, seriously? Back in my day we had the originals, the ones who started it all. Charmander, Squirtle, and Bulbasaur. Fire, water, and grass were the basic elements. Now there’s this nonsense of dark and light types. I guess things were more simple back then, childhood always is. Trading cards and being the best is all I cared about. If it meant stealing or dim witting others, then so be it. I would do everything to be the very best, to catch them’ all was my quest!

    Frank Rincon-

    (1st Definition Intro, 2nd Personal opinion conclusion)

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  19. Ready your parachute. Jump out of plane. Plunge forward, open wing suit. Fly toward destination. These are the adrenaline inducing instructions in wingsuit flying. Wingsuit flying is the flight of a human body from high attitudes of 14,000 ft, using a specialized suit. This suit helps the user glide effortlessly through the air, almost much like a flying squirrel. Wingsuit flyers use parachutes much like sky divers; only difference is they prolong the use of parachutes to the very end. They glide from different attitudes, such as cliffs, planes, and sky scrapers.



    "Out of 10,000 feet of fall, always remember that the last half inch hurts the most." Captain Charles W. Purcell, 1932. He was right, sky diving is plunging out of planes and leaping toward an either wondrous or ill fate. It’s the risk each Sky diver, Wingsuit flyer, and Hang glider accepts. As they make their way to the vast skies and truly fly. "When the people look like ants-pull, when the ants look like people-pray." This very amusing quote by an anonymous diver says it all.

    Frank Rincon-

    (1st Staccato intro, 2nd quoting conclusion)

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  20. Its game seven of the NBA Finals your team is down 2 points with 4 seconds left on the clock. Not to worry on your team is non other than 5 time NBA champion and 2008 NBA Finals MVP Kobe Bryant. He takes a three pointer and makes it with time running out. Its this ability to not only dominate the entire game but come through in the clutch that sets Bryant apart from the rest of his peers. Are all these things enough to justify him getting paid $25,244,493 a year? (Hypothetical Introduction)

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  21. Quotation and questions
    "Staying in the realm of the government, President Clinton himself came under fire for alleged sexual harassment. Paula Jones was a state employee when Clinton was Governor of Arkansas. In 1991, she claimed that Clinton exposed himself and asked her for oral sex in a hotel room. Clinton denied all allegations."
    Sexual harassment don't discriminated social position, age, religion, sex; it affected from regular workers to president or church leaders. But why people who had this experiences are so afraid to talk about it? Victims of sexual harassment are facing more problems when talking about their situation so they affront in silent.

    Conclusion
    Every day complaints of Sexual Harassment increase in all kind of jobs, but people still don't want to speak up. If they are the victims, then why is it that they don't want to say it? When we don't talk about it we are allowing them and promoting that to continue. There are laws that protect the victims at work, don't ignore it. When we start looking for help, we stop the sexual harasser to do it to other people, we are helping others not to have that uncomfortable experience maybe the worst in somebody's life. Under no circumstances accept it, don't be scared to talk about it, reported.

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  22. Have you ever wondered why their are not any rappers from Beverly Hills? How about Palm Beach or Malibu? Why are most rappers from places like Queens-bridge, Bed-ford-Stuyvesant, and Compton? Could it be that rap was the only way out of these notoriously poor and crime infested neighborhoods? Its hard to say what would happen for sure, but thanks to the background they were born into we can enjoy the gritty narratives of Nas, and Jay-Z among other greats. This makes it impossible to argue with the notion that a career choice is greatly influenced by a persons background.

    (2: Hook intro)

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  23. Introduction
    The knowledge of having someone loving you is the best. It does not matter if your parents are gay or lesbians. Or even if you have just a single parent; as well as raising their own kids, adopted or having step children. Coming from a mix family, having both parents present but as well has having step brothers and step sisters from pervious relationships.

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  24. Conclusion
    It does not matter what your family looks like, the most part that matter the most is the fact that everyone gets along and loves each other. A family consisting of two people can have equal love as a family that has a dog, a mother, a father, and two sisters. You should not care what your family looks like because no one should be judging your family. Be proud and show off your type of family.

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  25. If I had to choose some one to shoot a game winning shot for my team, it would definitely be Kobe. He plays at the highest level every game, and his resume speaks for itself. I believe he is worth all the millions he makes a year. He is deserving of it after all the hard work he has done through out his 15 year career. How does that corrupt the sport? If anything it should motivate kids everywhere who love playing the game to work harder. Getting paid ridiculous amounts of money to do something you love. Sounds like the American dream to me.

    (3: Personal Opinion conclusion)

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  26. Introduction
    Have you ever wondered what a real friendship consist of? Is it a friendship that you would be able to hold on to for the rest of your life or let go when things start getting rough. Let’s say this person that you just met two seconds ago became very close to you. A trustworthy person at the moment, after five months passes by that so call “friend” stop talking to you is that person still has the advantage to hold a friendship with you. Or are friends just people you continue to say “hi” and “bye” every day.

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  27. Conclusion
    The matter of the fact is that you do not really own a friendship with anyone. No matter what happens, people or so call “friends” come and go. One would just have to hold their own ground and decide whether or not to have someone apart of their lives. The feeling of having someone their and listening to your every problems because you do not know who to turn to. What if that person you chose to turn to is not there anymore? Then what would happen to you what would you do, just keeping it all bottle up inside will not help you. So picking and choosing who you would want to let in; let alone express every emotion you feel inside is the person you would hold a turn “friendship with”.

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  28. A persons background influences the way they speak, their personal experiences, and their attitude towards life. A person who is born into a poor background has less career choices and a different view on life. Imagine if Nas would have had a different background then the one he came from would he still be a rapper who is famous for narrating the struggles of urban youth across America?

    (4:Raising a question for exploration or speculation)

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  29. Families come in different shapes and sizes.

    Personal Narrative introduction

    Every time I think about what’s important for me, about what motivates me, the only thing that comes to my mind is my family. A family is a group of people that is connected by consanguinity, co- residence or others reasons. In social context is the principal institution for socialization and formation of children. In families, people learn important things that will be useful for the entire life. People can learn how to live in community and harmony; can learn the basic concepts to live in a village, city, or region. Families have traditions and different ways for raise their children.

    Quote Introduction
    "Only in the family can so many extremes be reconciled and synthesized. Only in the family do we have a lifetime in which to do it." That’s what Letty Cottin Pogrebin, write in the book Family and Politics, Ch. 2 (1983). Reading this sentence we understand that families can overcome any situation no matter how difficult based on the ease of solving problems together.

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  30. Friendship is just one word, but friends are of different kinds. (Definition intro)
    Friendship is a form of interpersonal relationship in which often is taken advantage of. The word “friendship” is a simple word and at the same time it is a powerful word that has all types of meaning. They have always said that, “one is good, two is ok, but three is a crowed”. It’s never a good idea to have a friendship with everyone you meet. Friendships are like any other relationships in which you need to know who they really are as well as their flaws. Many people have different aspects of what is the responsibility of having a friendship. Not everyone is too good at it; and don’t have the capacity of being in one. Throughout your life you will come across individuals who take the meaning of “friendship” into a whole different level and it will be up to you to know their true intentions.

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  31. Friendship is just one word, but friends are of different kinds. (Conclusion)
    At the end, the word “friendship” all comes down to having an interpersonal relationship with an individual or more. Even though; always keep your eyes opened and aware of those so called friends. Now you should be familiar with the people you try to interact along the way so you won’t be surprised with the outcome. Remember friendship is one of a kind you never know what you going to get. Choose wisely and you shall not regret of your choice. Always have an open mind when it comes to letting someone in; only because they seem nice does not meant that’s who they really are set out to be. Everything that is done in the dark comes out eventually in the light.

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  32. " Sexual harassment at work often goes unreported for practical reason. "

    hook intro(begining with question)

    Have you ever felt either too embarrased or afraid to report someone who has sexually harrassed you? I can defenitely say that I have from my own personal expiriences. When the time came to make up my mind about reporting the incident I would always stop myself. I would think that I might get humiliated or bullied by the person after my boss discussed the situation with them and I would be afraid of what they may think about me. Maybe I was just being dramatic, or I was exaggerating about the situation.


    " Friendship is just one word, but friends are of different kinds. "

    personal narrative intro

    I can always say I've had my fair share of lessons learned when it comes to finding out what the word friendship truly means. I've had friendships backfire on me because of me putting too much effort or none at all. I have also had many friendships that have lasted but not quite like some you may think of. Anyone can be a friend, anyone can be friendly, but who really sticks up for you when you're at your lowest low.

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  33. Families come in different shapes or sizes it’s totally a true statement. Single parents, women or men; gay or lesbian couples; unmarried couples who lives together raising kids, are some examples of the modern structures of families nowadays. However the commitment of the parents as members of a family hasn’t change, to love and care about their children, providing values and instruction in order to make them succeed in life contributing to a better society.

    Conclusion
    Through the years family and its concept has changed, but it is important to remember that family as the basic unity of society plays an essential role in our children’s life. It is not important as before the composition of the family as long as parents are involved with the needs of their kids and be responsible for giving the tools they are going to need to reach successful. Because that’s the way we are building a better society for everybody.

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  34. In 1985 gas prices varied from a mere $1.11 to $1.80. Sixteen years later, In 2000 there wasn't a significant difference with the prices varying from $1.66 to &2.15. But just year later in 2001 after the war began, gas prices sky rocketed from $2.50 to $3.15. By 2010 gas prices had reached its peak, with gas prices reaching up to $5.15 in certain states.

    As we may all be aware of the financial crisis the war got the U.S in, it has also caused many Americans to rethink how often we use our cars. In a society that runs there lives around driving will we be able to continue to afford cars when the gas prices are catching up to the value of our cars?

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  35. "If you want something from an audience you give blood to their fantasies, its the ultimate hustle." This was Marlon Brandos words of advice to new and up coming actors. Marlon Brando started in the late 1950s, best known for his film A Streetcar named desire Marlon Brando had a significant impact not only to other actors but to the many fans that followed his career.

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  36. Gerard Soriano
    Basic English 2
    Prof. Ferrante
    Feb8, 2012

    Intro:
    The definition of friendship is the state of companionship; an attachment to one or more persons. There are different kinds of friendships. They are formal acquaintances and close friendships. An acquaintances is a semi friend usually at work, school, and else where .Yet, you do not know the person very well, however, you still have some type of communication with that person. We all in some way have acquaintances. What I prefer is a friendship Don’t we all? A friendship is real hard to find and keep because seriously you really don’t know who is your friend around you.
    Conclusion:
    Friendship! Friendship is just one word, but friends are of different kinds. Everybody could be my friend but it just wouldn’t be the same friendship with others. My personal opinion on friendship is keep your friends closer but keep your enemy closer, if you have that right relationship with that friend then don’t loose it. But just imagine how the world would be if everyone was loyal to everyone and had that right connection with others? Don’t you think the world would just be filled with friendship? Well friendship is what we all need I would not feel right if I didn’t have my right hand man (best friend) just t let you know they do come and go but its hard to find the right one.
    I
    Intro:
    Sexual harassment at work often goes unreported for practical reasons. “The legal definition of sexual harassment is unwelcomed sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature constitute, and key part in the definition is the word. Uninvited conduct or communication of a sexual nature is prohibited.
    Conclusion:
    “That what she said”, as said by Michael Scott on the show the Office is an example of sexual harassment in the workplace. This joke refers to sexual intercourse with a woman in saying “that what she said” after a certain phrase. I believe that sexual harassment isn’t the way to joke around with others

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